Stop Numbing Your Pain

It’s making you weak

Most people are living half-alive.

They’ve accepted that feeling like garbage is normal. That popping pills is just part of adulting. That “getting old sucks” is a valid life philosophy.

They struggle to lose those last 20 pounds. Can’t find the energy to enjoy their family. Stay stuck living the same 6 months over and over again - feeling crappy, trying to numb the pain, and then beating themselves up for “not having it together.”

It’s a vicious cycle that keeps you small.

What if the secret to feeling great, is just to stop trying to escape pain and start focusing deeply on it instead?

This one shift has allowed me to succeed in ways I never imagined (and also saves me thousands of dollars and countless hours every year)

Here’s a good example of how.

My shoulder’s been killing me all summer

At first, I did what most people do- I ignored it.

As a 40-something year old former dancer, I’m used to feeling a little like garbage getting out of bed. But this was different.

My shoulder and arm started aching throughout the day. Every day. When I sat at my desk. When I picked up my gym bag. When I stood in line at the grocery store. When I laid down at night.

As a clinician, my first response to minor discomfort is to notice it, decide if it’s alarming, and wait to see if it resolves.

So I waited.

It didn’t resolve.

I tried everything. New keyboard. Ergonomic mouse. Changed my workouts. Used that lumbar pillow that came with the couch. Got a massage. Stretched. Foam rolled. Went to yoga (which I hate).

Still miserable.

Then I moved to topical solutions - menthol, camphor, lidocaine patches, CBD oil. They all helped for limited amounts of time, but nothing brought lasting relief.

The next logical step for most humans?

Buy a giant bottle of ibuprofen from Sam’s Club and take it every 4-6 hours until the pain becomes unbearable or you start vomiting blood.

But I’m ridiculously stubborn and I’ve seen too much.

Masking symptoms almost always delays diagnosis while creating more stress on other body systems.

I wasn’t going down that path.

So I had three options:

Option 1: Give in and take a fistful of pills 3-4x a day, still feel miserable, and never solve the root problem.

Option 2: Go to my primary care doctor and risk overtesting and overtreatment- pills, steroids, physical therapy, MRIs. Especially if the doctor really sucks.

Option 3: Continue obsessing over what changed in my life that could be causing this pain and do something about it.

I always choose option 3.

Until option 2 seems necessary, but I couldn’t bring myself to step on the medical rollercoaster yet.

Then I remembered- I have a process for this. So I took one afternoon off and grabbed a pen.

Here’s what I wrote:

• Timeline of when my symptoms started and when they worsened.

• Dates of recent travel.

• I mapped out all the changes in my work environment, sleep, workouts, and diet.

  

And as I looked down at my notebook, there it was clear as day—the cause of my ‘Hurt-Girl Summer’

Three things had changed in the weeks before my pain started:

I bought a bike and started riding it for an hour after work every day.

I started a writing more - waking up an hour early seven days a week to write.

I committed to working exclusively from my home office to be around for the teenager.

All three changes put me in a slumped-forward position for hours every day. My back hunched over, stretching out my rhomboids, putting my shoulder in terrible alignment when typing, using the mouse, writing-everything.

That was totally what could be precipitating this intense rotator cuff pain.

Boom.

Within a few days of stretching my chest and doing exercises to activate my back muscles, “Misery” had packed up and gone home.

You don’t need relief. You need a process and more focus.

When I look at my ability to diagnose and solve my own medical problems- and those of my patients- it’s impressive.

I’m not the smartest clinician. Not the most talented, well-read, or experienced.

But my refusal to accept “good enough” or settle for some bandaid solution instead of figuring out WHY something is happening gets me 10x the returns of people way smarter than me.

This level of intensity and focus is a decision. What I’ve learned is that the process applies to all areas of life.

What if you took a moment to dig deeper?

It’s a choice you can make every single time you’re faced with the option of numbing discomfort or addressing it.

Examples are everywhere.

Headache? Pop three ibuprofen or consider if you’re dehydrated, sleep-deprived, premenstrual, or something else?

Feeling sad? Are you sad or depressed? Are you treating a bad mood with wine before bed to numb a real issue like problems in your marriage or maybe your thyroid?

No motivation? Are you lacking purpose? Do you hate the work you feel you have to do everyday and don’t know how to get out of it?

The problem is you think you can escape by avoiding the pain.

You can’t.

And the only way to truly escape is to feel every last bit of it, until you’re miserable and then find the way out.

Stop thinking others will care about your wellbeing more than you do. They won’t. No matter how amazing your doctor is, or your spouse, or your boss.

It’s on you to fix yourself. To pay attention to what ails you and what pains are begging to be heard.

The world is getting sicker, busier, and scarier.

Incentives are often misaligned.

Your employer’s incentive is to get you feeling good enough to get back to work.

Your spouse’s incentive is to have you well enough to perform necessary functions at home.

Your medical team’s incentive is to get you healthy enough without saying or doing anything that will result in them losing their job, their license, or getting sued.

Their pursuit of those goals may sometimes conflict with what’s best for you as patient, as an employee and as a human.

I’m not saying these people are bad or that they don’t wish you were at your best.

I’m saying they aren’t going to focus to the point of obsession and resolve. If you want to live your best life, it’s on you to make that happen.

Focus solves a multitude of problems.

Stop taking the easy way out.

Stop looking for comfort.

Dial up your efforts to address issues at their root. Enlist an army of support to help you figure it out.

Once you do that, there’s suddenly more help available from traditional and non-traditional sources.

It works in medicine, in your personal life, in your career.

You have to want change badly enough to take responsibility for finding answers.

That always starts with leaning in- with focus.

And while that’s not often comfortable, it is THE position of power.

It puts you back in the driver’s seat. In control of what comes next.

And I think that’s the best place to be.

Until next time,

Tiffany